








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3204 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2205 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1664 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1955 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,805 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | megalopolik | 69% | 54 |
| #3 | machtnix. | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Der Dude | 64% | 56 |
| #5 | Sparkyy | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megalopolik | 229 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Der Dude | 119 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jostymon | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dikane | 95 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Erosive | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | +6.25 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | megalopolik | +3.42 | 94 | 64 |
| #3 | Knöppi01 | +3.39 | 89 | 65 |
| #4 | Sparkyy | +2.41 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | machtnix. | +1.01 | 86 | 53 |





