








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3688 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4705 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7470 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 5575 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,492,476 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕Undeя | 66% | 98 |
| #2 | mizutani | 66% | 80 |
| #3 | Gail_Lewis844 | 65% | 52 |
| #4 | Andrxw | 64% | 239 |
| #5 | dmac | 64% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Uncle Dan | 62% | 165 |
| #7 | vaLk | 62% | 77 |
| #8 | SAFNDAF | 59% | 303 |
| #9 | Ruski - LFT | 59% | 500 |
| #10 | Yauq | 53% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruski - LFT | 164 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | SAFNDAF | 64 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Uncle Dan | 41 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | Andrxw | 30 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Yauq | 22 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruski - LFT | 2683 | 0.27 | 60 min |
| #2 | SAFNDAF | 1003 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #3 | Andrxw | 395 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Yauq | 322 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Uncle Dan | 297 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAFNDAF | +4.42 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | ⭕Undeя | +2.58 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | vaLk | +2.32 | 77 | 43 |
| #4 | ♛Don♛ | +1.81 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | dmac | +1.46 | 62 | 58 |





