








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 102 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




180 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10093 | 29% |
| Smokes | 10772 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5645 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 8704 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,153,502 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmac | 68% | 93 |
| #2 | mizutani | 63% | 52 |
| #3 | vaLk | 61% | 80 |
| #4 | Andrxw | 61% | 125 |
| #5 | ♛Don♛ | 59% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cho1zes | 57% | 61 |
| #7 | Yauq | 56% | 151 |
| #8 | Ruski - LFT | 55% | 739 |
| #9 | Uncle Dan | 53% | 87 |
| #10 | ⭕Undeя | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruski - LFT | 251 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | ♛Don♛ | 27 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Yauq | 25 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Uncle Dan | 21 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | ⭕Undeя | 15 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruski - LFT | 3565 | 0.25 | 80 min |
| #2 | Yauq | 431 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | ♛Don♛ | 253 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | dmac | 216 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Andrxw | 165 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAFNDAF | +4.18 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | ⭕Undeя | +1.43 | 72 | 51 |
| #3 | ♛Don♛ | +1.10 | 52 | 55 |
| #4 | dmac | +0.89 | 60 | 49 |
| #5 | mizutani | +0.58 | 68 | 46 |





