








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4310 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5869 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6364 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5828 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,946,800 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmac | 76% | 58 |
| #2 | Andrxw | 67% | 124 |
| #3 | ♛Don♛ | 66% | 98 |
| #4 | Squiddy | 64% | 56 |
| #5 | Uncle Dan | 56% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ruski - LFT | 55% | 153 |
| #8 | nach0z | 49% | 73 |
| #9 | vaLk | 49% | 122 |
| #10 | SAFNDAF | 49% | 76 |
| #11 | H ♡ | 47% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruski - LFT | 57 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | Uncle Dan | 24 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | cho1zes | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | SAFNDAF | 13 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Andrxw | 8 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruski - LFT | 1029 | 0.33 | 25 min |
| #2 | SAFNDAF | 315 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Uncle Dan | 231 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | cho1zes | 194 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Andrxw | 185 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕Undeя | +2.37 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | SAFNDAF | +2.17 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | dmac | +1.82 | 57 | 57 |
| #4 | Squiddy | +0.97 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | ♛Don♛ | +0.89 | 55 | 57 |





