








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1991 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 221 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




439 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20197 | 39% |
| Smokes | 11668 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9975 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 10110 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,363,387 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7954 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmac | 71% | 119 |
| #2 | mizutani | 70% | 129 |
| #3 | Andrxw | 64% | 277 |
| #4 | cho1zes | 61% | 92 |
| #5 | ♛Don♛ | 59% | 500 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SAFNDAF | 55% | 739 |
| #7 | Uncle Dan | 55% | 178 |
| #8 | ⭕Undeя | 55% | 153 |
| #9 | vaLk | 55% | 139 |
| #10 | Yauq | 53% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAFNDAF | 162 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Uncle Dan | 49 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | ♛Don♛ | 42 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Yauq | 40 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Andrxw | 27 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAFNDAF | 2320 | 0.16 | 56 min |
| #2 | Yauq | 780 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | ♛Don♛ | 420 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | Andrxw | 366 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | Uncle Dan | 306 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAFNDAF | +4.40 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | dmac | +2.02 | 63 | 55 |
| #3 | ⭕Undeя | +1.91 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | ♛Don♛ | +1.46 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | mizutani | +1.13 | 71 | 38 |





