








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2436 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1724 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2058 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1660 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,214 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | neur0 | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | naweedy | 45% | 89 |
| #10 | breese | 44% | 86 |
| #11 | fupas | 40% | 52 |
| #12 | jimmy lightning | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slabo | 880 | 0.25 | 25 min |
| #2 | breed:different | 481 | 0.45 | 13 min |
| #3 | Dope Rider | 403 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | naweedy | 317 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | davey_d | 277 | 0.16 | 6 min |





