








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 374 matches | ||
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7951 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8096 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8408 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8681 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,422,191 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kos | 1393 | 0.24 | 38 min |
| #2 | anarchy | 1271 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #3 | guxta | 743 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #4 | makol | 527 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | da1ge | 488 | 0.08 | 10 min |





