








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4170 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2873 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5322 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3912 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,125,021 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guxta | 24 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | mari | 16 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | da1ge | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | anarchy | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | kos | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anarchy | 1240 | 0.19 | 35 min |
| #2 | guxta | 1171 | 0.18 | 32 min |
| #3 | ash1hara | 849 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #4 | kos | 654 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #5 | mari | 591 | 0.05 | 11 min |





