










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 474 | 26% |
| Smokes | 386 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 724 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,259 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaicnos | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Fearless | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Alex | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | AF Guppynator | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | AF SharkBearz | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Nooby Doo | 0% | 4 |
| #16 | Gilgamesh | 0% | 4 |
| #17 | Pongle | 0% | 4 |
| #18 | concon. ^^ | 0% | 4 |
| #19 | Haemo | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF SharkBearz | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | gunfingers | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Grummins | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | 43zombiegit | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Fearless | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF SharkBearz | 65 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | gunfingers | 48 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Grummins | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | AF Guppynator | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Oes | 39 | 0.12 | 1 min |





