








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2275 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1929 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2607 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1588 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,800 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ckob0lz1 | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Icage | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | ShadowMoneyWizard | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | -Miraley | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | Abu mamba | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Miraley | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | heinis | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | juspa ∩ (◣_◢) ∩ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Abu mamba | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Icage | 3 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Miraley | 345 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | juspa ∩ (◣_◢) ∩ | 328 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Abu Yaseer | 279 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #4 | heinis | 260 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Abu mamba | 178 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Miraley | +2.65 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | Abu Yaseer | +1.80 | 54 | 69 |
| #3 | A.Le Sta | +1.60 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Icage | +1.31 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | nigni | +0.05 | 71 | 47 |





