








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 744 | 31% |
| Smokes | 641 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 455 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 560 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,137 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomtom | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | uli 웃 | 100% | 12 |
| #3 | Ghulli | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | Aleksidd | 82% | 17 |
| #5 | tj | 76% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tunkkis | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Aleksidd | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | sann | 2 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | tomtom | 2 | 0.0174 |
| #5 | jomi) | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ?_? | 108 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tunkkis | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Aleksidd | 67 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | jomi) | 45 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | tj | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uli 웃 | +6.03 | 85 | 78 |
| #2 | Aleksidd | +5.64 | 92 | 77 |
| #3 | Tunkkis | +5.47 | 85 | 74 |
| #4 | keijuls | +1.50 | 68 | 72 |
| #5 | ?_? | +0.45 | 69 | 67 |





