








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1081 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1099 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 779 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 901 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,063 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weaNd | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | CBッ | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | Mellu Nolan | 68% | 44 |
| #4 | RUDY[u_u] | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Baamio | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Ghulli | 50% | 6 |
| #14 | frägiseppo | 48% | 23 |
| #15 | nfr | 43% | 7 |
| #16 | EL_J3fE *ödens | 38% | 8 |
| #17 | fanipala | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teppo | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | frägiseppo | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aleksi4SHO | 193 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mellu Nolan | 171 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | ?_? | 118 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | teppo | 90 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tunkkis | 79 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksidd | +4.99 | 89 | 84 |
| #2 | Tunkkis | +4.16 | 84 | 78 |
| #3 | weaNd | +3.13 | 92 | 69 |
| #4 | Mellu Nolan | +2.05 | 81 | 74 |
| #5 | CBッ | +1.55 | 86 | 50 |





