








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1613 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1789 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1123 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1353 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,773 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VerDe:D | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | Ghulli | 100% | 9 |
| #3 | =D | 100% | 12 |
| #4 | Aleksidd | 95% | 55 |
| #5 | ?_? | 90% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksidd | 12 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | tj | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ?_? | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | @ muTED | 4 | 0.0235 |
| #5 | keijuls | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tj | 345 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | ?_? | 295 | 0.48 | 6 min |
| #3 | Aleksidd | 221 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | keijuls | 143 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | SUS1 | 113 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksidd | +7.04 | 89 | 77 |
| #2 | uli 웃 | +6.76 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | Tunkkis | +5.21 | 90 | 63 |
| #4 | puuha | +3.49 | 84 | 78 |
| #5 | alxcb0b | +3.36 | 85 | 69 |





