








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1031 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1051 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 641 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 799 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,620 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Ghulli | 83% | 12 |
| #11 | =D | 82% | 17 |
| #12 | @ muTED | 82% | 11 |
| #13 | frägiseppo | 80% | 5 |
| #14 | jomi) | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uli 웃 | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | ?_? | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | tj | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | @ muTED | 4 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | keijuls | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ?_? | 314 | 0.40 | 6 min |
| #2 | uli 웃 | 205 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | tj | 198 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | keijuls | 86 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | @ muTED | 78 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksidd | +7.35 | 90 | 75 |
| #2 | uli 웃 | +5.31 | 80 | 72 |
| #3 | Tunkkis | +3.62 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | keijuls | +1.50 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | =D | +0.57 | 91 | 62 |





