








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2449 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2584 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1992 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,577 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | norcha | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | n1ghto ツ | 60% | 241 |
| #3 | HuLeh! | 59% | 105 |
| #4 | ☆Vax™ | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | Basjuh | 57% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ☆Vax™ | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | Basjuh | 57% | 154 |
| #6 | teun1s | 57% | 224 |
| #7 | syNT | 56% | 98 |
| #8 | TimmyG | 51% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teun1s | 20 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | n1ghto ツ | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ☆Vax™ | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | norcha | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | syNT | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1ghto ツ | 844 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | teun1s | 728 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | Basjuh | 453 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | syNT | 331 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | norcha | 191 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | norcha | +2.82 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | Rickut | +1.93 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | n1ghto ツ | +1.12 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | teun1s | +0.88 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | HuLeh! | +0.04 | 60 | 63 |





