








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 442 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9885 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5760 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7188 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6464 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,122,906 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickut | 57% | 154 |
| #2 | n1ghto ツ | 56% | 178 |
| #3 | r1qzor | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | HuLeh! | 52% | 224 |
| #5 | teun1s | 51% | 402 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | teun1s | 51% | 402 |
| #6 | norcha | 49% | 102 |
| #7 | RiseHeaven | 47% | 57 |
| #8 | syNT | 45% | 142 |
| #9 | TimmyG | 44% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teun1s | 41 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Rickut | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | TimmyG | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | n1ghto ツ | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | syNT | 9 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teun1s | 1360 | 0.16 | 44 min |
| #2 | n1ghto ツ | 622 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | syNT | 517 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | Rickut | 434 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #5 | norcha | 341 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1qzor | +4.53 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | norcha | +1.83 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | Rickut | +1.64 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | teun1s | +1.25 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | n1ghto ツ | +0.83 | 78 | 67 |





