








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 991 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 164 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7764 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5610 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5936 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4062 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,151 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 895 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheeky Ninja | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | n1ghto ツ | 56% | 94 |
| #3 | Rickut | 56% | 98 |
| #4 | Blissain | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | Nrg^ | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | RiseHeaven | 46% | 39 |
| #10 | Basjuh | 45% | 142 |
| #11 | norcha | 44% | 72 |
| #12 | TimmyG | 44% | 135 |
| #13 | Wantjee | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teun1s | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | TimmyG | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | norcha | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | HuLeh! | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | n1ghto ツ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teun1s | 1114 | 0.18 | 37 min |
| #2 | Basjuh | 426 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | n1ghto ツ | 366 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | Rickut | 295 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | TimmyG | 294 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | norcha | +2.77 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | teun1s | +1.62 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | Rickut | +1.55 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | n1ghto ツ | +1.01 | 75 | 69 |
| #5 | Nrg^ | +0.57 | 38 | 76 |





