








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 804 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7095 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6041 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7701 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 10358 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,256,412 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2009 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srs | 84% | 85 |
| #2 | aero | 83% | 59 |
| #3 | chunchy | 82% | 94 |
| #4 | Tuna | 81% | 70 |
| #5 | Salty Snake | 81% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 32 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | chunchy | 17 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Milky Kitten | 17 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | shift | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | sonk | 11 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 411 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | chunchy | 299 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | aerocliq | 240 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tuna | 142 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Milky Kitten | 131 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuna | +5.80 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | Cache Man | +5.16 | 71 | 53 |
| #3 | Jimbob | +3.67 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | TheSovietPenguin | +2.75 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | barrett | +2.64 | 80 | 42 |





