








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 145 matches | ||
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5054 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6951 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4706 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6497 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,487,856 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cracky chan | 56% | 534 |
| #2 | Beam cs.money | 54% | 333 |
| #3 | kANKZ | 52% | 592 |
| #4 | cir | 52% | 432 |
| #5 | KUNG FU KUNT | 51% | 453 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cracky chan | 2625 | 0.24 | 79 min |
| #2 | kANKZ | 1862 | 0.16 | 47 min |
| #3 | Beam cs.money | 1494 | 0.22 | 38 min |
| #4 | cir | 655 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #5 | KUNG FU KUNT | 392 | 0.04 | 10 min |





