










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5081 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6420 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2357 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4859 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,973,821 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 712 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cracky chan | 55% | 375 |
| #2 | KUNG FU KUNT | 54% | 281 |
| #3 | JOE. | 52% | 592 |
| #4 | Beam cs.money | 52% | 241 |
| #5 | cir | 51% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cracky chan | 1849 | 0.25 | 56 min |
| #2 | JOE. | 1361 | 0.11 | 35 min |
| #3 | Beam cs.money | 1125 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #4 | cir | 375 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | KUNG FU KUNT | 248 | 0.04 | 6 min |





