










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1622 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1832 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2824 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2993 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,688,951 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cracky chan | 56% | 249 |
| #2 | Beam cs.money | 56% | 139 |
| #3 | kANKZ | 54% | 281 |
| #4 | JOE. | 51% | 453 |
| #5 | cir | 50% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cracky chan | 1254 | 0.25 | 39 min |
| #2 | JOE. | 1061 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #3 | kANKZ | 882 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #4 | Beam cs.money | 625 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #5 | cir | 346 | 0.08 | 8 min |





