








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2725 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1438 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,183 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apoyyo | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | MrStacky | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | etalS | 43% | 60 |
| #4 | cereal boy | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | hvnlypeach | 38% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | etalS | 43% | 60 |
| #4 | cereal boy | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | hvnlypeach | 38% | 79 |
| #6 | Scots_men | 34% | 44 |
| #7 | valen vapes again | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hvnlypeach | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | etalS | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Apoyyo | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Scots_men | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | cereal boy | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etalS | 155 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | valen vapes again | 82 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #3 | MrStacky | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | cereal boy | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Apoyyo | 36 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cereal boy | +3.36 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | MrStacky | +0.75 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | dandrews | +0.55 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | valen vapes again | -0.30 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | Apoyyo | -0.39 | 73 | 45 |





