








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1095 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2908 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2438 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3014 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2418 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,465 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 902 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omega Blurz | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | ꕥ blossom ✧˚ · . | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | p4905 | 64% | 73 |
| #4 | Lunar | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | Katarina | 61% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | JDough | 54% | 50 |
| #14 | Woofer | 54% | 26 |
| #15 | ariee | 50% | 18 |
| #16 | Astronomatic | 47% | 17 |
| #17 | Fynises | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katarina | 14 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | cheaster | 10 | 0.0245 |
| #3 | Mula Hwaka | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Woofer | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | Mococo Abyssgard | 4 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 342 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | p4905 | 217 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mula Hwaka | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lunar | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mococo Abyssgard | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +4.93 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Anything | +3.08 | 82 | 45 |
| #3 | Yuki <3 | +2.37 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | Katarina | +2.33 | 64 | 42 |
| #5 | Puppygirlington | +2.08 | 69 | 53 |





