








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1758 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 904 matches | ||
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8937 | 22% |
| Smokes | 10944 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10217 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 11326 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,462,649 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JxLayout | 59% | 94 |
| #2 | krisbo | 54% | 179 |
| #3 | Blobal Beagle | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | Elisanliittyma | 53% | 85 |
| #5 | KorpiSoturi | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | PAJU | 45% | 167 |
| #15 | R42 (REISKA) | 44% | 57 |
| #16 | Hui Hai | 43% | 72 |
| #17 | Электрошокеры | 42% | 86 |
| #18 | JaansKA:_D | 32% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JxLayout | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | krisbo | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | jonagar | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | PAJU | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Elisanliittyma | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JxLayout | +3.69 | 69 | 70 |
| #2 | PAJU | +2.89 | 67 | 75 |
| #3 | Электрошокеры | +2.24 | 69 | 74 |
| #4 | Elisanliittyma | +2.23 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | KorpiSoturi | +1.53 | 48 | 68 |





