








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2164 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1655 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1591 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 402 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $837,481 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | qtz | 35% | 60 |
| #19 | KoK | 32% | 19 |
| #20 | Forneus&Fuskeren | 29% | 42 |
| #21 | Mighty Denicz | 27% | 22 |
| #22 | ENDNUMEREGRATISELO | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekker | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Betch | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Forneus&Fuskeren | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Big_AL | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ENDNUMEREGRATISELO | 2 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekker | 396 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | qtz | 322 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | Betch | 152 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dallimba | 134 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | TrevorLahey69 | 127 | 0.06 | 4 min |





