








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 950 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Faceit | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7572 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5548 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6448 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4664 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,151,415 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 648 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuperkralle | 62% | 61 |
| #2 | de_dog | 61% | 59 |
| #3 | henrik lamar | 60% | 99 |
| #4 | JoggeZ | 59% | 81 |
| #5 | EmiLiuZ | 59% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Betch | 51% | 61 |
| #10 | divine | 50% | 176 |
| #11 | Mighty Denicz | 49% | 89 |
| #12 | KoK | 41% | 61 |
| #13 | ENDNUMEREGRATISELO | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big_AL | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Mighty Denicz | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | JoggeZ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Betch | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | de_dog | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big_AL | 577 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | divine | 499 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Mighty Denicz | 434 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | de_dog | 321 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | Zuperkralle | 224 | 0.18 | 7 min |





