










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2324 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3353 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3525 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3716 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,276,288 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Decker | 43% | 47 |
| #14 | Irongoat | 42% | 38 |
| #15 | Zuperkralle | 36% | 25 |
| #16 | Forneus&Fuskeren | 34% | 65 |
| #17 | Betch | 29% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PsyenZ | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ShakEEEbroh | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | qtz | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ZaeteR | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Forneus&Fuskeren | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qtz | 799 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #2 | Bekker | 611 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | PsyenZ | 337 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | ZaeteR | 246 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | ShakEEEbroh | 246 | 0.11 | 6 min |





