








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1677 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2061 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2300 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2519 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,842 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Đ—kywaIker | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | JustAPilot | 61% | 54 |
| #3 | Kenji | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Atominat1on | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | JnF | 56% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Freq. | 53% | 32 |
| #9 | Snibbels™ | 51% | 51 |
| #10 | NOname | 50% | 22 |
| #11 | Microman | 49% | 168 |
| #12 | MaGgiX | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Microman | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | JustAPilot | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Truster | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | HomofĂĽrst II. | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | JnF | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Microman | 295 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Truster | 279 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Atominat1on | 160 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Đ—kywaIker | 135 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | JnF | 127 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freq. | +3.11 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | Truster | +1.34 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | Kenji | +0.90 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | TheBanana | +0.74 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Đ—kywaIker | +0.62 | 77 | 71 |





