








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2249 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2075 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2186 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2671 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,185 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaGgiX | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | Homofürst II. | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Atominat1on | 65% | 40 |
| #4 | Ghost | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | Snibbels™ | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBanana | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Microman | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | MaGgiX | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Atominat1on | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Homofürst II. | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Homofürst II. | +1.74 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | Truster | +1.17 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | TheBanana | +0.07 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | Microman | -0.23 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | MaGgiX | -0.33 | 77 | 53 |





