








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2836 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2800 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1755 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2150 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,791 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frowzy | 72% | 32 |
| #2 | r0w | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | drow | 69% | 36 |
| #4 | Kgn Destoyer | 69% | 39 |
| #5 | tmk | 66% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | tmk | 66% | 175 |
| #6 | dar | 62% | 26 |
| #7 | jigsys | 58% | 60 |
| #8 | chanj | 58% | 43 |
| #9 | Barry McCockinner | 58% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tmk | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | jigsys | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Kgn Destoyer | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Barry McCockinner | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | drow | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barry McCockinner | 282 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | tmk | 235 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | drow | 129 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | frowzy | 122 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | chanj | 110 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aspext | +4.64 | 93 | 68 |
| #2 | frowzy | +4.44 | 92 | 65 |
| #3 | tmk | +4.25 | 83 | 48 |
| #4 | drow | +1.23 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | r0w | +1.08 | 90 | 63 |





