








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 258 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1140 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1595 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1058 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,535 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | understi | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Zowie2 | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | GGbuorsa | 48% | 128 |
| #4 | Aless22 | 46% | 126 |
| #5 | Zowie | 45% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GGbuorsa | 48% | 128 |
| #4 | Aless22 | 46% | 126 |
| #5 | Zowie | 45% | 75 |
| #6 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 43% | 60 |
| #7 | Memi | 42% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zowie | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | GGbuorsa | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Memi | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Aless22 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Zowie2 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GGbuorsa | 297 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Zowie | 260 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Zowie2 | 103 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 91 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Aless22 | 66 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | understi | +5.92 | 73 | 78 |
| #2 | GGbuorsa | +3.93 | 68 | 81 |
| #3 | Zowie2 | +1.72 | 83 | 70 |
| #4 | Zowie | +1.64 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | Memi | -0.63 | 44 | 55 |





