








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3879 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3022 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4208 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3591 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,175,650 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CDHE]Schamoul | 48% | 128 |
| #2 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 47% | 129 |
| #3 | Memi | 47% | 146 |
| #4 | Zowie | 47% | 217 |
| #5 | Zowie2 | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 47% | 129 |
| #3 | Memi | 47% | 146 |
| #4 | Zowie | 47% | 217 |
| #5 | Zowie2 | 47% | 58 |
| #6 | Aless22 | 41% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zowie | 21 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Aless22 | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Memi | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | [CDHE]Schamoul | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Zowie2 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zowie | 770 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Zowie2 | 178 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 157 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Memi | 91 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Aless22 | 70 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GGbuorsa | +2.64 | 66 | 79 |
| #2 | Zowie | +0.43 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | Zowie2 | -0.04 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | Memi | -0.37 | 44 | 57 |
| #5 | [CDHE]Schamoul | -1.81 | 24 | 40 |





