








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 586 | 10% |
| Smokes | 917 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2496 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2161 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $993,335 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | understi | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | [CDHE]Schamoul | 46% | 126 |
| #3 | Memi | 41% | 83 |
| #4 | GGbuorsa | 41% | 162 |
| #5 | Zowie | 40% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Memi | 41% | 83 |
| #4 | GGbuorsa | 41% | 162 |
| #5 | Zowie | 40% | 124 |
| #6 | Zowie2 | 40% | 25 |
| #7 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 40% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zowie | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | [CDHE]Schamoul | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | GGbuorsa | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Memi | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Zowie2 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zowie | 447 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | GGbuorsa | 353 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | VERDAMMTE AXT!!! | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Zowie2 | 102 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | understi | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | understi | +5.35 | 72 | 77 |
| #2 | GGbuorsa | +3.39 | 67 | 80 |
| #3 | Zowie | +1.45 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | Zowie2 | +1.23 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | Memi | +0.50 | 46 | 59 |





