








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 783 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




130 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3244 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4853 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2815 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2639 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,013,761 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fart Smella :) | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | Venox | 51% | 133 |
| #3 | Silence | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | FRE3ZER | 49% | 128 |
| #5 | Hackbraten | 46% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FRE3ZER | 49% | 128 |
| #5 | Hackbraten | 46% | 151 |
| #6 | Noshian | 46% | 340 |
| #7 | Gtx_Hamster | 39% | 145 |
| #8 | triebtäteR | 34% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noshian | 79 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Venox | 36 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Hackbraten | 32 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Gtx_Hamster | 28 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | FRE3ZER | 28 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noshian | 640 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Hackbraten | 443 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | FRE3ZER | 418 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | Venox | 312 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | triebtäteR | 188 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silence | +4.50 | 94 | 54 |
| #2 | FRE3ZER | +4.48 | 91 | 54 |
| #3 | Venox | +1.51 | 70 | 58 |
| #4 | Gtx_Hamster | +0.60 | 67 | 38 |
| #5 | Fart Smella :) | -0.03 | 59 | 42 |





