








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1956 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1061 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 3460 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2256 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,773,814 of utility $266 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ditlef | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | TazZe ヅ | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | MinX ^__^ | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | KJAER ☂ | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | SALKCIN | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ॐLαяViɗo♕ | 39% | 33 |
| #11 | zeroxVII | 36% | 33 |
| #12 | Lill - Bambino - Bish - Dk | 35% | 17 |
| #13 | Yesber | 33% | 18 |
| #14 | ILLUMINATI ^^ | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puffy highs ♡ | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Pawii | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | KJAER ☂ | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Ditlef | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | MinX ^__^ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pawii | 497 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | MinX ^__^ | 424 | 0.30 | 13 min |
| #3 | Puffy highs ♡ | 138 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | KJAER ☂ | 131 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | zeroxVII | 97 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smikky | +4.01 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | KJAER ☂ | +2.34 | 49 | 62 |
| #3 | MinX ^__^ | +1.78 | 61 | 81 |
| #4 | Puffy highs ♡ | +1.71 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | Missen fra Amsterdam | +0.87 | 31 | 64 |





