








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1116 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 926 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1747 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $998,405 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krzyz | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Dynasty | 74% | 27 |
| #3 | Biotic | 72% | 94 |
| #4 | Marluxia | 69% | 75 |
| #5 | drewpie | 69% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | DodFather | 60% | 67 |
| #11 | Incipiens | 59% | 58 |
| #12 | Electro | 54% | 13 |
| #13 | Tris | 44% | 32 |
| #14 | BeastLeor | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biotic | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Incipiens | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Br0ken | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Mantissa | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | drewpie | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br0ken | 314 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Biotic | 284 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Marluxia | 277 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Mantissa | 272 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | ryAn | 126 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marluxia | +3.76 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | Dynasty | +3.06 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Incipiens | +2.62 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Krzyz | +2.47 | 85 | 63 |
| #5 | Sundis | +2.33 | 80 | 39 |





