








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 581 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2397 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2471 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1942 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2383 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,479 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edi | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | thunderass10 | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Nuuskis | 46% | 92 |
| #4 | Cheddar | 44% | 184 |
| #5 | Rosti | 44% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cheddar | 44% | 184 |
| #5 | Rosti | 44% | 167 |
| #6 | Kusti | 43% | 155 |
| #7 | Tu0v1n3n | 38% | 32 |
| #8 | Mäntä | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheddar | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Rosti | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Kusti | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Mäntä | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | thunderass10 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheddar | 579 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Kusti | 406 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Nuuskis | 277 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rosti | 247 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mäntä | 118 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unNootturi | +3.10 | 61 | 70 |
| #2 | thunderass10 | -0.52 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | Cheddar | -0.94 | 47 | 72 |
| #4 | Nuuskis | -1.09 | 49 | 73 |
| #5 | Tu0v1n3n | -1.39 | 72 | 59 |





