








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3091 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5362 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4461 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5443 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,872,659 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Flex | 44% | 149 |
| #12 | Perseenreikä | 44% | 108 |
| #13 | Cheddar | 40% | 47 |
| #14 | KISSO | 38% | 34 |
| #15 | vade | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flex | 632 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | SaltyCoffee | 449 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Perseenreikä | 389 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | Kahen litran oohoocee | 384 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Patukkkq | 339 | 0.20 | 8 min |





