








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 372 matches | ||
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4552 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6219 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5144 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5952 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,134,194 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1800 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | martin gore | 58% | 331 |
| #5 | ken | 58% | 81 |
| #6 | stromboli | 57% | 94 |
| #7 | 711 Pizza Enjoyer | 55% | 168 |
| #8 | TheBossMan_14 | 51% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 711 Pizza Enjoyer | 45 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | TheBossMan_14 | 25 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | martin gore | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 16 | 0.0140 |
| #5 | stromboli | 11 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | martin gore | 238 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #2 | 711 Pizza Enjoyer | 190 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | stromboli | 143 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 121 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | TheBossMan_14 | 106 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Local Waffle House Crackhead | +3.44 | 76 | 56 |
| #2 | st0rmsyy ♡ | +2.67 | 57 | 58 |
| #3 | stromboli | +2.04 | 33 | 63 |
| #4 | ken | +1.67 | 63 | 32 |
| #5 | 711 Pizza Enjoyer | +1.29 | 44 | 49 |





