








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 983 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2275 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1184 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,510,455 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RichardCheez | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | martin gore | 56% | 81 |
| #3 | ken | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Local Waffle House Crackhead | 55% | 168 |
| #5 | ♥ KOAKUMA ♥ | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Local Waffle House Crackhead | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | martin gore | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | TheBossMan_14 | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | ♥ KOAKUMA ♥ | 4 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | stromboli | 3 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Local Waffle House Crackhead | +3.02 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | 711 Pizza Enjoyer | +2.01 | 44 | 45 |
| #3 | RichardCheez | +1.80 | 85 | 53 |
| #4 | ken | +0.66 | 57 | 29 |
| #5 | martin gore | +0.42 | 64 | 40 |





