








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1918 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 1040 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 238 matches | ||
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




721 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
24839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17683 | 52% |
| Smokes | 5295 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 9846 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 888 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,009,665 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolling a joint rn sorry | 58% | 122 |
| #2 | ✩Ascend✩ | 57% | 279 |
| #3 | Veteran | 54% | 650 |
| #4 | Puneslasher710 | 54% | 342 |
| #5 | egg ✮⋆˙ | 53% | 1068 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Veteran | 54% | 650 |
| #4 | Puneslasher710 | 54% | 342 |
| #5 | egg ✮⋆˙ | 53% | 1068 |
| #6 | taiga | 52% | 512 |
| #7 | Sphinxy | 45% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✩Ascend✩ | 140 | 0.0254 |
| #2 | taiga | 128 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | egg ✮⋆˙ | 97 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Veteran | 71 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Puneslasher710 | 61 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taiga | 1519 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | egg ✮⋆˙ | 473 | 0.02 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✩Ascend✩ | 429 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Veteran | 417 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #5 | Puneslasher710 | 378 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✩Ascend✩ | +3.39 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | st0rmsyy ♡ | +3.00 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | Rolling a joint rn sorry | +2.00 | 72 | 36 |
| #4 | Veteran | -0.36 | 56 | 30 |
| #5 | egg ✮⋆˙ | -0.48 | 36 | 32 |





