








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5702 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7267 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8720 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4652 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,676,971 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stosses | 25 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | todubblen | 23 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | wollysound | 20 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Jesus | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Sqsi | 13 | 0.0051 |





