








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5304 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3205 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4699 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4223 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,926,368 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Gabs | 47% | 102 |
| #12 | wollysound | 46% | 71 |
| #13 | PikiTv | 46% | 273 |
| #14 | Bacardi Razz | 46% | 46 |
| #15 | Sqsi | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | todubblen | 15 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Stosses | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | PikiTv | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Gabs | 11 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | wollysound | 11 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butterfisch | 317 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Stosses | 299 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gabs | 243 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bumba199 | 177 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | todubblen | 176 | 0.06 | 4 min |





