








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1245 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1322 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1959 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1958 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,686 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butterfisch | 211 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | todubblen | 175 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stosses | 170 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gabs | 128 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jesus | 112 | 0.10 | 2 min |





