








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 930 | 50% |
| Smokes | 348 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 240 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 347 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,107 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamalJabroneWilliamson | 54% | 52 |
| #2 | Risque-_- | 47% | 77 |
| #3 | VertVert | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Father | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Absodo | 36% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Absodo | 194 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | JamalJabroneWilliamson | 147 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Risque-_- | 139 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Steve | 45 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Notice | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve | +2.83 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | JamalJabroneWilliamson | +1.13 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | Absodo | +0.73 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | Risque-_- | -0.24 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | Father | -0.92 | 36 | 62 |





