








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1455 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1295 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1014 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1223 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,961 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Risque-_- | 56% | 100 |
| #2 | Father | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Steve | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | VertVert | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Grakym | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Absodo | 435 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Grakym | 234 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Risque-_- | 163 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Notice | 148 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Father | 76 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve | +3.68 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Absodo | +0.93 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | JamalJabroneWilliamson | +0.64 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | Risque-_- | -0.07 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | Father | -0.51 | 58 | 59 |





