








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2191 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1872 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3049 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3503 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,807 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John (こうすけ) | 67% | 43 |
| #2 | Nordv | 61% | 59 |
| #3 | Mustafa Yusuf | 56% | 100 |
| #4 | vacancy | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Evie | 51% | 402 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Evie | 51% | 402 |
| #6 | kencrit | 51% | 184 |
| #7 | Glor1ous | 50% | 155 |
| #8 | Fexu | 47% | 57 |
| #9 | Sana4Life | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kencrit | 29 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Mustafa Yusuf | 19 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Glor1ous | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Evie | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Nordv | 10 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glor1ous | 1101 | 0.34 | 23 min |
| #2 | kencrit | 613 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | Mustafa Yusuf | 357 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | vacancy | 194 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nordv | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nordv | +3.52 | 85 | 43 |
| #2 | kencrit | +3.46 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | vacancy | +1.53 | 64 | 42 |
| #4 | Mustafa Yusuf | +1.03 | 71 | 53 |
| #5 | mAtrixx | +0.74 | 71 | 40 |





