








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2659 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2562 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1868 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 929 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,898 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Koks in Schweiger | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 61% | 67 |
| #4 | Maurice | 56% | 73 |
| #5 | WAYN. | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ATG georgische Gzuz | 48% | 52 |
| #10 | SiruX | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | ATG kwisch | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | ATG Dompteur | 43% | 30 |
| #13 | ATG Nerdpeek | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATG Mimon Abfaka | 14 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 12 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | UwU UwU Søda-San | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Maurice | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | ATG georgische Gzuz | 8 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATG georgische Gzuz | 264 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | UwU UwU Søda-San | 198 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ferdi Frechdachs | 182 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Koks in Schweiger | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Padenko | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU UwU Søda-San | +2.37 | 56 | 57 |
| #2 | patrino | +2.36 | 58 | 65 |
| #3 | Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz | +2.02 | 46 | 30 |
| #4 | WAYN. | +0.48 | 34 | 55 |
| #5 | Ferdi Frechdachs | +0.33 | 58 | 63 |





