








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1913 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1629 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1032 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1384 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,796 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calu | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | phox | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | ボムビー | 67% | 49 |
| #4 | Tijs | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Dan | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Volhaas | 58% | 12 |
| #12 | Tavish | 56% | 9 |
| #13 | camel | 53% | 15 |
| #14 | Another | 48% | 33 |
| #15 | Miju | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miju | 11 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | phox | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | ボムビー | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Bobzy Malone | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | calu | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ボムビー | 321 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | Another | 118 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | ams | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tijs | 87 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Miju | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijs | +2.78 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | morale- | +2.07 | 89 | 69 |
| #3 | Tavish | +1.63 | 86 | 77 |
| #4 | phox | +1.22 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | ボムビー | +0.91 | 75 | 75 |





