








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 29% |
| Smokes | 316 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 287 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 332 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,994 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaztro is rws | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | H3LMU7 | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | shkr | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | Guestzone | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | vedder | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | AceGeir | 56% | 18 |
| #8 | Buck Angel | 52% | 23 |
| #9 | Hjartarson | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | Goodfella | 50% | 8 |
| #11 | dr. Doctor Man | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buck Angel | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | KFED | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Kaztro is rws | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFED | 84 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | AceGeir | 80 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Guestzone | 51 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Buck Angel | 41 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | vedder | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaztro is rws | +5.46 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | shkr | +3.42 | 83 | 46 |
| #3 | Goodfella | +3.10 | 60 | 70 |
| #4 | KFED | +1.19 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | Guestzone | +0.43 | 70 | 59 |





